When you present human beings information that contradicts what they believe, they tend to respond in one of two ways.
Some will assimilate the information by changing it. They can ignore the new knowledge and hold on to their former beliefs and others will accept the validity of the new information. Instead of changing the meaning of the new data to fit their old concept of reality, they adjust their perception of reality to accommodate the information and then they put it to use.
According to psychologists, the more important the old concept of reality is to a person’s sense of self-esteem and inner worth, the more tenaciously he or she will hold on to it — and the more insistently he or she will assimilate, ignore, or reject new evidence that contradicts his or her the familiar concept of the world.
This behaviour is particularly common among very bright people because they can so easily develop and articulate self-persuasive logic to justify the conclusions they want to keep.
An observation was made by Simon Ramo in 1973[linked here] that there is a big difference in how games are won in amateur tennis versus professional tennis.
When two amateur opponents are playing, the game is often won not through the winner’s great skill but because of the loser’s mistakes. The loser often commits unforced errors by hitting the ball out of bounds, missing easy shots, or double faulting. In other words, the loser beats himself. Points are “lost” by the loser more than they are “won” by the winner. This is a “loser’s game.”
When two professional opponents are playing, the game is won primarily due to the winner’s skill. Neither player commits many unforced errors. The winner places his shots well and outperforms his opponent to defeat him. Points in this kind of game are “won” by the winner more than they are “lost” by the loser. This is a “winner’s game.”
So, if you’re playing a loser’s game, a winning strategy is to simply try to avoid making mistakes and let your opponent beat himself/herself.
The application of this observation is that you should attempt to understand whether any given activity you’re involved in is a winner’s game or a loser’s game. Gaining that understanding teaches you how you should play the game.
